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Submitted on
October 28, 2010
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Nakama Before Dreams by RedRoronoa Nakama Before Dreams by RedRoronoa
Edit II: Remade this after two years! :woohoo:




Wow, I actually managed to finish it! and after a 10 month break :dummy:
Man oh man, This took such a long time, and at some point I nearly gived up on this, but I'll tell ya how happy I am to finish this piece :iconlawooplz:

Some bad points; I hate how Zoro's holding his sword Shuusui, but by the time I started with the tonely work, I noticed it half way, but I'll edit it some time lator... maybe.

Program:
Paint Tool Sai

Characters:
Zoro - Wolf
Kuma - Bear

It's been a long night, so I'll put a link on the ref i used for the outline when I wake up.

EDIT:
Here's the outline with the small ref I used.
[link]

:icondonotuseplz::iconmyartplz:
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:iconleosanze:
Leosanze Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2011  Student General Artist
wow haha soo cool!!!
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:iconredroronoa:
RedRoronoa Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Shucks, your too kind... Thank you! :D :heart:
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:iconlucratanexarii:
LucrataNexarii Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2011
Greetings, RedDragon.

I had noticed your work a long time ago, but seeing that it has surfaced again, it happened to retain my attention. Moreover, you have requested a critique on it, but in searching here among it's Comments, I see little which lends due credit or examination to your work. Clearly you are proud of what is here, and you are searching for some manner of improvement (as are we all).

*Looks onward* Target acquired.

First, as to general appearances: my first impression is over the heavy use of solid shades of color. This can be fine and well within a composition, but concerning this work, the inconsistency of detail placement and density makes some areas seem rushed. However, the general colorization can be it's own strength in how it can cause one to focus on areas of detail. In that fashion, your choice of stylization can be a double-edged sword.

I should mention that I know nothing of Sai or it's operations, capabilities, or how those factor into your technique, so I will attempt to orient my comments over the visual aspect of your work.

I see that you had included your referenced linework. This provides a useful example to compare your work as per it's origins. My first point of notice in comparing the base layout is your perspective. I also use the term in encompassing the posture and angle of Kuma relative to the picture. What stands out to me is the angle which he stands at in being struck. Notice that in your work Kuma appears to be standing largely straight, if one traces the assumed area of his spine from his hips to roughly where the base of his neck would be. Compare that to the screen capture. There, Bartholomew is leaned forward (or perhaps pushed back) in surprise or shock, one can see that his head is tilted forward, his hands thrust ahead, and the slackness or unpreparedness can be seen in his figure due to the unexpected assault. The white stripe tracing across his back also gives a stronger indication of his massive torso, and the curve of his shoulders accentuates this, also indicating further his great height. The paw-prints around the base of his jacket should narrow as they encounter the edges of his torso, tracing the indication of his size. Essentially one is tracing the curve of his chest mass using the central (and most exaggerated) line of his jacket, the top of his shoulders, and the base of his jacket.

Again, taking the perspective in mind, I will compare wolf-Zoro, and the screen capture. Wolf-Zoro appears to still be in the motion of his attack, as if he is just at it's end, re-sheathing the blade Shuusui. His movement appears to be just at an end, and his tail is relaxed, perhaps as he is turning to look at the outcome of his attack.... Meanwhile, the energy and force of Zoro in the screen capture is held not so much by the light of his strike, but at the grit and shaking dust of his attempt to stop . His weapon is held solidly in his hands, and it is braced.

Again, with attention to perspective, note the jutting of broken stone in the screen capture. One is looking at Zoro from just above the horizon line; he is being looked up at, and Kuma, behind him, moreso. In your work, this has shifted: Kuma's hips are about at horizon-level, and thus one is looking downward somewhat at wolf-Zoro. This has the added effect of reducing the apparent distance between wolf-Zoro, and Kuma; his strike might as well have carried him only eight feet past Kuma, despite the obscuring dust; Kuma also appears rather small due to this perspective error (being only a few feet taller than wolf-Zoro would be). Otherwise, in the screen capture, the high upward viewpoint and Kuma's known size, bring Zoro to appear as if he's moved well-past his target, and forcefully close to the viewer amid flying rock chips and dust. Note also that the large plumes of dust also trace outwards from Zoro, having been scattered due to the strength of his attack.

Last thoughts: Pay heed to areas of detail, and how these affect the composition. Living and non-living, moving and solid. You can work with all of these general qualities using little more than lighting and texture to bring strength to edges and subtlety to wide zones of similar appearance. While most of your image is undulating dust, remember that clouds of dust, rather like stone or debris, have layers, columns, and thickness - they respond to or absorb light, and even have their own texture.

Hopefully this has been helpful to you. Pardon my thoughts at length, but I wished to be as complete as possible in my regards.
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:iconredroronoa:
RedRoronoa Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I cannot thank you enough for your critique LucrataNexarii, I really had needed someone pointing out the obvious errors in this work.
Long comments might be seen as annoyance to some, but this lengthy comment of your just made me happier. Being specific to the last flying chip, as well as giving me some advice on improvements. I shall keep in my mind about perspective and such, these are some of the things I need to keep heed of.

Again, thank you for the comment, I really can't thank you enough ^^
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:iconlucratanexarii:
LucrataNexarii Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2011
You are most welcome, RedDragon.

As there is such a volume of One Piece work which exists, I tend to turn any notice mostly towards material concerning Bartholomew Kuma - and by coincidence, it is usually the rarest type of work. Many are those who post comments as to such work, but rare are any constructive critiques... So, with my limited time, if there is anything I can do to be of service to my fellow artists, I do what I can.

Thank you also for your generosity and eagerness in accepting my thoughts; I am aware that such intrusiveness or criticism is sometimes not reasonably accepted.

Do take care, and best of luck, RedDragon. :nod:
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:iconredroronoa:
RedRoronoa Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
It is true that it's rare to see any constructive criticism on Bartholomew Kuma artwork, actually, I doubt if I have even seen any xD

Personally, I'm a kind of person to take advice and thoughts about my art then use them to my advantages and improve. After all, this site was made for such things :aww:

Thank you again~ Have a good day =)
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:iconhopemoon:
HopeMoon Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Woah, this is amazing o:
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:iconredroronoa:
RedRoronoa Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you, I really appercate the comment =]
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:iconhopemoon:
HopeMoon Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
:giggle:
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:iconcradesgirl27:
CradesGirl27 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2010
Awesome
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